ken's bitch

Gwen and I were at the movie store the other day, and we saw the most interesting thing. This biker-dude and his smiling, barbie-esque automaton were entering the store. The guy's shirt said, "If you can read this, the bitch fell off."

Charming. Speaking of ken's bitch, Gwen and I were engaging in one of our fave recreational activities -- heckling the merchandise at the local drug store. We always find great stuff, and this time it was "Cali-girl" dolls -- a barbie/ken knock-off.

The "Cali-girl" dolls at the store featured two guys. They were wearing flower-print speedos, bead necklaces, and they stank of some sort of coconut based lotion. The box said that the Cali-girl guys were "scented." That's swell.

One had brown hair with highlights. The other had bleached-out blonde hair. We looked all over the shelf for a female Cali-girl. We finally found one -- looking more like a fifth-wheel than any chick I've ever seen.

That is one frustrated young woman. Not least because she reeks of coconut and is made of plastic. Of course, we all know that studies have been done indicating that the poor thing couldn't stand up if she were really created with those proportions. She'd be crawling after the Cali-girls, flat on her face like some sort of big-breasted crab (and probably pulling herself along by her french-tipped nails).

PS: PLEASE check out the "Barbie Liberation Front" at http://www.sniggle.net/barbie.php.