Friday, March 09, 2007

I'm Hammered!


Well, I went to the chiropractor and they did about three hours of diagnostics. I got hit from head to toe with the little hammer and they took tons of x-rays. Had to wear the assless wonder-gown. Nice. I have to go in Monday to have anything adjusted. Ice four times a day until then. I find it slightly ironic that I slipped on ice and now I have to treat it with ice. Cosmic!


Seriously, I am very happy that I am getting close to having someone fix the thing. The aching is bugging me. They said I have whiplash and pinched nerves, among other things. They don't want to mess around with me too much until they read the x-rays. At least we're on our way.


Driving in was/is hard. I groan every time I go over a pothole which, in Maine, is pretty much constant. Plus this morning I gave myself a high-end, spa-style facial by spilling peach tea and soymilk all over my face during the drive over. Am I a great multi-tasker, or what? Uh...what.


:) happy weekend, me.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

I wan' my baby back, baby back (aligned with my) ribs



I didn't blog about this at the time, but I slipped on the steps at work while closing the office down a couple of fridays ago (don't even get me started about how unfair THAT was on a cosmic scale--falling on friday, that is). I had my backpack purse on, so that helped, but I fell right on my back on the steps and HARD! I haven't had a good night's sleep since. This is the first time I have reported a workplace injury and now I know why. I have been told fifty different things by fifty different people and NO ONE has treated me yet. I have two appointments this week and then I hope to feel better. Blah!

snow daze


man, is it winter! we had a blizzard last thursday that shut everything down for the day. one of my friends is pottying outside because her whole pipe system is shut down until the ground thaws (her house pipes, I mean--thank goddess!). my other friend had a car accident today, trying to get to work. my dog wouldn't pee this morning. she has such thin skin on her legs, you can see daylight thru her tendons. even with her coat and boots on, she just sat down outside and wouldn't move. so I'll probably have a mess to clean up but that's the way it goes. it was too harsh. they estimate down to -30 degree windchills today, and it feels it.


come on, spring solstice!


well, the only good thing is the scenery. preferably viewed from a position of security and comfort--not out the window of your trashed car or from the back yard while you're trying to take a leak.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

"a picture is worth a thousand turds" (title by crimsoncrow, thanks very much)









a friend of mine is enduring the worst of new england, wintry ordeals--no septic and no water. awful! and they can't fix it until the ground is soft enough to backho (who are you callin' a backho???)








so I got online and googled "camp toilets" on an impulse--hoping to find something cheap she might want to buy for the forseeable future. all the top google hits were on amazon.com! and they were SO funny that we wished we were sitting on a hassock-crapper when we read the page.let's see--there was the "luggable loo," a low end and affordable (bucket). don't worry, though--it comes with a bag of (6) "double doodie toilet bags." how civilized.

then comes the high-end equipment like the no-flush with cushioned seat! it's a toilet and a hassock. never miss out on your favorite tv shows again! aside from the bedsores, your quality of life will be vastly improved. we were visualizing the long board meetings and committee meetings we have to go to at work--an advocate on every pot. Isn't that what FDR wanted, or was it a chicken in every pot? details, details.


thanks, amazon.com! now all I need is some reading material....









Sunday, February 18, 2007

Church Sign Generator


Church Sign Generator



FUUUUUUUNNNNNNN! Thanks, crimsoncrow! :) ljl

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

love and chocolate

happy valentines day! really...I mean it.



Sunday, February 11, 2007

greyhound meet'n'greet







We took Star to the adoption meet and greet, this weekend. Greyhounds everywhere! It is done at local pet shops and so on, to generate awareness of greyhounds and try to get adoptors as well as donations. It is very effective, because people love to see these dogs.

We saw the other white/brindle girl who lives in our area, too. Her name is Beyonce and our neighbors confuse Star with her all the time.

I haven't learned how to take the time/date stamp off the pics in my new camera, yet, but here are some shots. :)

PS: The old, white guy in the MGPS blanket is Ernie. He's a sweetie.






Monday, February 05, 2007

star sign


AQUARIUS (Jan 20- Feb 18)
Aquarius pets are gentle and loving with children and will bark or meow just to hear the sound of their own voices. They are extremely intelligent and unbelievably brained. You need lots of patience when you train them. They do not obey orders easily and the more you push them, the deeper they will put their paws into the ground and refuse to budge. Sometimes these pets don't want to be cuddled or petted, but remain aloof. Aquarius pets are curious and inquisitive and will literally push their noses into everything.



ophelia


yes, I still have cats! a lot of them. this is a nice shot of Ophelia, my baby since college. she's my muse - except when she resents my use of the computer and perches on the printer - shredding every page as is comes out. everybody's a critic. ;)

Sunday, February 04, 2007

couch potato


Stardom's Birthday




Today Star turns four! I got her a dog couch and it arrived Friday. I admit I couldn't resist setting it up a day early. At that point she turned into a "couch potato" by grabbing one of her favorite buber toys from the kitchen and mauling it on her new digs. I replaced it with a carrot, but the predatory impulse just wasn't there.






Thursday, February 01, 2007

Friday, January 26, 2007

seriously, i'm in mint condition

Here we are in winter. It finally caught up with us. I was sick as a dog last week and missed some work.

Speaking of “sick like a dog,” my poor puppy tore her dew claw on the car seat two weeks ago. They had to remove the whole thing. She was in a soft cast for a few days, but now its pretty much back to normal. Of course, she has had to adjust to the cold weather. She has to wear her red coat now, and her little boots. She has to go through the suiting-up process even for a by-the-door pee because the ice crust on the snow tears her skin as if it were paper. It has been around 0-10 degrees Fahrenheit in the morning lately and lower with the wind. Walking on the little bit of snow that got sleeted on and then glazed with ice is like breaking hundreds of plates. The old New Englanders (like my grandma) used to say, “As the days start to lengthen, the cold starts to strengthen.” No shit. They are forecasting as low as -20 F for this weekend. Everyone is sick, not just me.

The day I tried to go to work and had to leave was the worst. I ended up on the bathroom floor, tearing through the little first aid kit like a heroin addict. I was tossing shit over my shoulder, looking for anything that would help me in any small way. I had gone through the aspirin a long time ago. All I scored was some ointment for my nose and some electrolyte tablets that I didn’t dare take, in the end.

I listened to a client that I have worked with for a long time while she rehearsed her victim-impact statement (to be read in court the next day). My eyes were running and I had tissue literally shoved in my nose, since it was running like a tap. I was sneezing so hard I needed an adult diaper. The bad news is that I didn’t have one.

Fortunately that client and I know each other quite well, so she didn’t mind seeing me like that. She had actually been taking her dog to the vet when I had Star there for the dew-claw amputation. That’s a small community, for you.

She sat with me while I was on the waiting room floor with my seventy-pound Greyhound in my lap. Poor Starry had her tongue hanging out and she was all wrapped in blankets. The vet kept coming out and checking her heart rate and stuff, waiting for her to come out of the anesthesia enough to get in the car. I was a basket case because my Lucky boy (also a Greyhound) died under anesthesia about a year ago, while he was in recovery from having a tooth extraction. Bad, bad memories. I had tried to leave Star there and go to work, but I started hyperventilating. Fortunately, I work for an agency that runs a 24 hour crisis hotline. I called it. Really.

My colleague was great and commanded I just go back and be with my dog. She cancelled my gigs for me. No matter what we go through or how I bitch about my job sometimes, I am lucky to do this work and know that caliber of person. Or – some other term that isn’t so firearm-oriented.

Anyhoo, the whole day was just really fun. Yet I was very grateful that my dog didn’t die. Then the next week I got sick.

Obviously, going to work with this cold was a big mistake. But the thing moved through its critical period pretty quickly. That was a blessing. And we had a snow day when I was about to try going back to work (and probably shouldn’t have), so that was another blessing. It was Friday, too!

I am at the church and I expect a client within the hour. Of course, I have learned the hard way not to count on callers until they actually show. It is cold out and people tend to get the hibernation mentality if they have a choice about it. So we’ll see.

Then I have to leave in about an hour to go do a set of gigs at a grade-school. They got postponed when the dog got hurt, so I’ll be glad to get in there and have it over with. Tomorrow I’m doing a joint presentation at a local college with sexual assault, the SART (rape kit) nurse, a cop and a victim witness advocate (from the DA Office). And tomorrow, my friends, is FRIDAY!

Let’s see – we need something green. Allow me (actually you don’t have a choice) to quote from The Wisdom of Nature: The Healing Powers and Symbolism of Plants and Animals in the Middle Ages (Werner Telesko, Prestel Press). Because, why? Because, it’s here. Okay:

Menta piperita L. – According to Greek mythology, the nymph Minthe was transformed into mint by Persephone. Various mint species were used in medicines by the Egyptians, Israelites and Romans. The Egyptians and Greeks also added mint to their beer and used it in beauty care. Charlemagne’s Capitulare de villis (795) and the famour plan of the monastery at St. Gallen (around 820) recommended the cultivation of several mint species.

In place of smelling salts, mint is said to have an invigorating effect on someone who has fainted. Mixed in pomegranate wine, it cures hiccups and nausea. The liquid obtained from the whole plant in a distillation flask is described as an effective cure for nose bleeds. Milk does not curdle, so it is said, if a few mint leaves are dropped in it. Peppermint tea is used to treat diseases of the respiratory tract and digestive organs. Peppermint oil or menthol is applied externally as an ointment, balm or liniment to relieve pain.

The text describes mint as hot and dry in the third degree. Small plants with dense foliage are best.

** So, there. I’m thinking I need a shitload of mint.


Stay warm, ljl J

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

my god ate my homework


Excuses. You gotta love excuses. Almost as much as you gotta love insomnia.

In my job, I hear a lot of excuses. Unfortunately, for a reason that remains a mystery to me, I spent most of last night with a few really good ones running through my head - grinding like a truck stuck in the mud. Brain mud.

The cool one from yesterday was an abuser who couldn't get to his whatever (restraining order hearing, divorce mediation, assault case, whatever) because he was offshore on a deep-water fishing boat. Although our attorney represents the guy's ex, the guy wanted our lawyer to go in and ask for a continuance.

Hmmm. Let's just pretend for a moment that there is any excuse for getting on a shark boat and heading into international waters when you know you have a court appearance scheduled that week. Pretending this, we can move on into the fake-o-rama smackdown that our attorney and I envisioned after getting that phone call (complete with fake sound effects on each side).

Perp: "Hi, ah...so I need a continuance because...ah...I'm...ah...in the ... ocean." (insert sound effects of waves and gulls - "swoooosh, swooooosh" "squak, squaaaaaaaak!")

Lawyer: "Oh, hi. Yeah. Well...ah...I can't get you a continuance because I'm, erm...I'm....on the moon." (insert rocket noises and strange beeping)

Perp: "What's that? I can't....oh, my god! A giant lobster just raked the boat! (flush toilet into phone)...Sweet Jesus, help us! We need a bigger boat!"

Lawyer: "Sorry, you're breaking up. A giant rocket just went by! (run hairdryer by phone)...Ow! My ears just popped!"

Perp: "Ohmygod, pirates! We're being attacked by pirates! (plays episode of Spongebob loudly in the background).

Lawyer: "Ohmygod, aliens! Sorry...gotta go. There's an alien menace! (plays episode of Battlestar Galactica loudly in the background).

Both make fizzing, swishing, roaring noises into their phones before hanging up.






So, I won't even tell you how many hours I lay in bed thinking about this, last night. Suffice to say, way too long. :)

Friday, January 05, 2007

ToiKoi






We are updating our files at work - putting our hundreds of written records into a new computer system manually (typing, no scans). We are totally insane. Some of that came out in our early morning conversation about a world where carnivorous koi live in every toilet. Then one of my colleagues resorted to funny hats (the oldest trick in the book). Thank Christ and the Goddess that it's Friday and I AM NOT ON THIS WEEKEND! Neither are any of my crazy cohorts from this office, as far as I know. YAY!






Peace, out!




Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Christmas Fun


The unwrapping is over but the playing has only begun! The cats did the tree-destroying and the dog did the present-shredding. She finally passed out on her heap of gifts. So far about half of them have survived into the new year. Post-holiday good wishes to you all. Peace!













Thursday, December 28, 2006

speaking symbolically

Here I am at St. Frank’s again, doing my outreach hours. I couldn’t get in here for the past two months or more due to low staffing at our primary office. The time that I was unable to come here, as those who read my blog will have noticed, had a direct effect upon my overall mental health and well-being. My job totally sucked ass. I mean, even more ass than usual.

Coming back here after stress-o-rama gave me some added insight into my own career meanderings. I mean, I come from a clergy family and I earned all the degrees to become a minister. Then I got stalemated by the doctrines and church traditions and blah-blah’s that I would have to sign on for to do ministry.

I did a stint as a hospital chaplain for coursework and that was great. The thing is, you can’t be a hospital chaplain without being funneled through a church system. So here I am backed into a career corner.

The thing I like about chaplaincy (and that even my Baptist supervisor said was my strength) is that chaplaincy demands that the chaplain be open to the faith journey of the patient. It is not a good place for evangelists – anyone rigid about the belief structures they can allow into their brain or tolerate in others. I have the opposite problem – self diagnosed as hyper-fluidity.

So I was good at it and enjoyed it – but my difficulties with ordination power-structures have dead-ended me every time I tried to approach that career path. I ended up in human services – first doing residential care and then the job I have now at the domestic violence place. A lot of the work is similar, but there is a piece missing that I think I bumped into today.

I had the church to myself for a couple of hours and I love that. Call me anti-social, but churches are always best when they’re empty. I love my little office, which is a partially-converted vestment closet. I engage in an ongoing OCD battle with someone from the choir about whether the little St. Frank in the window should be facing out toward the landscape or in toward the room (i.e. closet). I mean, don’t you think St. Francis of Frigging Assisi or what-all would rather look out the window than stare at a closet? They bill him as nature-guy. Right now we have a fragile truce in which Frank is angled so one eye could see out the window and one into the closet/office – provided he wasn’t a frigging block of wood. I have a lot of time on my hands, here.

So on. I was in the sanctuary looking at the statuary. The giant St. Frank on the wall (rosary at hip, foot on the globe) had a bundle of fresh bay leaves tucked under the foot. Someone had clearly gathered it at the beach and stuck it on there.

I have always liked this particular statue – problematic doctrinal symbols set guiltily aside. That’s my fucking problem, by the way. You should see me trying to sing a hymn or do a responsive reading without stalling out to scowl at the intricacies of the text. And don’t tell me to go be a Unitarian. They thought I was too Pagan. Yes, they allegedly allow Pagans but you are apparently supposed to be UU first and Pagan second (actual quote). I am the other way around, thanks very much. Plus the local ones have a vehement hatred of vegetarians. Yep, religion is just that stupid. Hence my preferring a church when its empty.

Okay, back to the thing – the idea that I bumped into. Something about the image of the fresh bay leaves tucked under the foot of that old statue reminded me (or made me realize) why I got into religion in the first place. And being stuck in our central office for all these weeks, sometimes as the only staff there, facing crisis after crisis – ugly mess after ugly mess – it helped me to see how the religious symbols help life to mean something. They give us something pretty and hopeful to hold onto. Even those male-centered, Caucasian/European-heritage-centered and anthropomorphic, middle class, diversity-excluding hymns that drive me up the fucking wall every time.

So – I will try to appreciate what people are holding onto in those hymns, and take comfort in the religious imagery that nourishes me. Yay.

Oooh! Gotta go. I’ve got the church to myself, again. Time to go ogle the solid wall of Poinsettia’s under the organ pipes.

Happy New Year – filled with diversity, empowerment and peace.

pretty thoughts


Well, here we are. We survived Christmas. I am going to Boston tomorrow to do second Christmas with Dad's side of the family. We do that every year and it is good. I wrote some work stuff here, yet deleted it -- too septic even for me to keep. I want to blog on normal, mundane stuff. Pretty thoughts. Yay.

It's good weather for travelling. It is below freezing for once, and there is frost on the ground. Still, we have had almost no Maine winter. We had about four inches of snow in November, but it melted off in forty degree weather the next week. It has been totally bizzare. I'm not complaining. The ski-freaks are, though. I say fly to Aspen if you haven't got anything to do except ski (then insert profanity).

Okay. Gotta go walk the dog. :)

Friday, December 22, 2006

star and flower



my puppy's sister and littermate is up for adoption through http://www.greyhoundplacement.com/ (the exact link to flower is http://search.petfinder.com/petnote/displaypet.cgi?petid=7488586)if anyone has been oh, so jealous. here's her pic so you can see how much starflower (flower) looks like my girl, stardom. (flower is on the left, star is on the right).




speaking of stardom, her pedigree is on http://www.greyhound-data.com/d?d=stardom&sex=f&color=&birthyear=&birthland= (so is starflower, for that matter).

It's cool. It shows her Sire going all the way back to a dog named Pilot in the UK in 1820, and her Dam going back to Kitty in that same period.

:) leslie

Tuesday, December 19, 2006